i could never ever do this, could you?

Mar 26, 2014

It happens at sleepovers all over the country, one sugar-crazed girl party at a time (gay besties included). A not-so-innocent “best friend” holds up ten fingers and whines, “Never have I ever...” Yes, this was a sleepover rite of passage game more intoxicating than Truth or Dare that was meant for giggly girl talk and, let's not kid ourselves, a little bit of pride stroking as we went about informing our friends that we had, in fact, gotten to second base with our acne-covered lab partner. Who cares if it was on a bet, messy and in the dark? The guy like totally wore a size 12 shoe. Hello!

i don't need to become a peta vegan but i want faux fur

Mar 17, 2014

faux fur

Seriously, I don't know why two weeks later I am shit out of luck on the faux fur front for my capsule wardrobe. Where are these beasts hiding! Anyone have secret tips for where they hunt down their faux fur pieces that isn't downright hideous or breaks the bank? I've been trolling eBay for a hot minute. You know I can't wear real fur. Seeing as they have to kill animals for that and all. The day I realize being personally skinned alive is more soothing than a day at the spa is when you'll find me blissfully returning to the ignorance that is wearing real fur. #justsayin

casual monday neutral and white fashion for the working girl

Mar 17, 2014


Happy Monday dolls! Here in New York the sun is out in full effect. I have impatient tendencies, and even after last week's blizzard I was dying to wear sandals. So I jetted out in peep toe pumps instead. If it's warm where you are, please let me live vicariously through you and wear some gladiators for the both of us! What's your work attire outfit look like today?

confessions of a designer fashion label whore turned brand ambassador

Mar 16, 2014

Label whore.

No offense taken. I whore myself out several times a day, with no reward needed. I'm a voluntary slave to food porn without shame, because life is incomplete without endless chocolate scrolling. Heck, I was willing to sell my body for a puppy back in the day. I mean they are obvs the new accessory of the decade. So the thought that I would work a pole for a custom Birkin bag? You damn right I would!

Label whore. What a sweet phrase, carrying with it all the connotations of a brain dead shopper who swipes her plastic for pieces of the fashion pie simply because they are more expensive, trendy and high in status. Hello me! Or maybe not? After being suckered into purchases that made me one of the many faceless brand shoppers I was, for a time, easily offended by the slightest suggestion that I cared more about brand names than originality and personal style. My crusade, if left to its own devices, would have surely ended in a massive public bonfire where I ran around the flames like a bohemian rabid animal preaching on the evils of runway fashion and the trickle down theory. Okay, so I might be exaggerating a little, but the truth is, I had to come to terms with my brand preferences and that a little whorish ways isn't so bad when we realize the dud nugget who made up the term really meant "brand ambassador". In fact, I've come to believe that knowing and loving a designer brand is an excellent way to become a conscious consumer whom can authentically engage in, what can be, a highly superficial world. In simpler terms, I want to love, wear, and advertise for designers that reflect my values and tastes. And there is nothing that makes you a sell out for that. For example, I value ethics, fabric choices, fit, tailoring, simplicity and now minimalism. I think its important to shop local and to make lifestyle choices that are environmentally friendly. However, if I only fill my closet with shit that doesn't reflect any of those sentiments, I become a walking billboard for hypocrisy. So it begs one to wonder- what the hell are all those "top fashion bloggers" valuing when they wear everything from Anthropologie and J.Crew to Forever21 and Azzedine Alaia or Alex Wang mixed with classic Chanel all at the drop of a paycheck for their c/o shenanigans? Well, we may never know since their blog posts lack substantial thought, but I'll tell you one thing, they're redefining what it means to be a working girl. #justsayin

i only own 139 things so do i know what is a minimalist now?

Mar 11, 2014

Why the hell did I try to become a minimalist anyway? I can barely remember when I was diagnosed. Just as text messages seem like a good idea while colorfully inebriated, so too did minimalism seem like a good idea to try at the time. Somewhere in between becoming a vegetarian for like the third time, and wanting to be the next Adele (my shower voice sounds like doves crying...and I imagine that's a good thing) it seemed like a logical next step in my quarter-life crisis.

But doesn't this minimal style thing seem like a co*kblocker to the good life? I mean lezzbehonest, a house isn't a home unless it wreaks of shit you don't need. Hoarding and conspicuous consumption extends way beyond granny's attic. Who doesn't love a good sale? You know the ones where you come home with yet another set of glassware, two pairs of ballerina flats, and a gift bag filled with deluxe beauty samples that will sit and expire before your eyes. The linens upon linens, because well, just in case is much better than having only an adequate amount. Life isn't about adequacy, its about excess! Like at Thanksgiving when you go in for a fourth serving because you CAN, and the unjustifiable gassiness and burping is not sexy but who gives a damn, because you just conquered life in that moment, you showed life whose boss, all while gaining five pounds unnecessarily. The freedom of choice is to be abused, duh. All hail materialism! The real religion of this country. Except. Mama didn't raise no fool. I pride myself on intellect and having it be upstaged by peer pressure, cultural norms, media, propaganda, and down right clever advertising campaigns would be such a shame. What kind of legacy would I leave behind if 70% of my time is spent consuming?? Think about it.